Ih jadi pengen!!
Kalo diinget-inget, sebenernya gue punya banyak banget plan buat diri gue sendiri. Gue emang orangnya suka bikin plan, tapi plan nya itu lebih untuk sehari-hari. Gue ga bisa malem-malem tidur tanpa tahu besok gue bakal ngapain, ngapain, ngapain; dari jam segini, sampe jam segini, sampe jam segini. Tapi entah kenapa gue ga bisa bikin plan yang rinci buat masa depan gue. Sekarang gue lagi sibuk nyari kerja. Oke, mungkin kata “sibuk” harus dicoret, karena sebenernya gue ga segitu niatnya cari kerja. I don’t know what’s on my right mind.
Gue abis ngitungin hasil bisnis gue selama sebulan ini, gak seberapa, apalagi kalo dibandingin sama 2 tahun lalu ketika gue lagi mendulang kesuksesan, bisa makan apa aja, bisa beli apa aja, bisa nongki di mana aja, bisa belanja online kapanpun gue mau. Bahkan setelah gue itung-itung, ketika gue bayar utang gue ke supplier bulan ini, gue hanya akan punya beberapa ratus ribu rupiah di rekening gue. Wow, beda jauh banget sama beberapa bulan yang lalu ketika rekening gue udah 2 digit dan gue bisa ngerasa kaya, literally kaya. I mean, for someone who was still in college, i was pretty financially independent. And this had been one of things I take proud of. I’m proud of myself, I’m proud of what I achieved. It’s not that much, but it was enough.
Fast forward a couple of years later, here i am, broke as fuck. Harus gue akui gue emang lagi ga bisa mengontrol pengeluaran banget. Wow, gue seorang anak ekonomi and I have zero skill in budgeting. Kebanyakan pengeluaran gue emang banyak di biaya pacaran, which is LAMEEEE AF. Oke, gue akui pacaran itu memang menyenangkan, and being with your SO feels great, but it’s taken its toll on me. Gue jadi keluarin banyak banget duit buat biaya makan dan terutama, transport. I don’t blame my SO though. I don’t regret all the time we spent together. Tapi yawlah…..kenapa deh gue payah banget ngatur pengeluaran.
Selain pacaran, gue juga lagi in to make up dan skincare banget. Ini dunia yang baru banget buat gue, It’s a colorful fun world filled with rainbow. I don’t know how i survived college without makeup. It’s INSANE. Gue sekarang lagi napsu banget ngeliatin review lipstick, oh my god if i could choose to live only with one makeup, it would definitely be a lipstick. Okay, ini off-topic sih.
hi. Life has been pretty tough to me lately. I’ve got lots of free time and it’s been about 2 weeks since i passed my thesis defense and to be honest I’ve got nothing else to do. When you have this much of free time, you feel overwhelmed and end up not doing anything. Even watching movies don’t feel as enjoyable, truth be told. I need to get a job as soon as possible.
And I’m longing for a cup of hot green tea late from KFC. I swear to god they have they cheapest yet the best, the rightest combination between sweet and bitter, green tea latte. Or maybe it’s just me being all tired and in need of a quick, quick mood booster.
I guess i’m just gonna get some good sleep. Annyeong.
It’s 1.24 in the morning. I’m buzy editing my Internship Report and feeling, feeling in love with my significant other at the same time. I’m dating such a lovely lovely guy I don’t even need to try that hard to constantly remind myself that I, that I am such one lucky girl to have him as my partner.
Hello~
Sekarang jam 10.47 PM. Gue sebenernya ngantuk, tapi gue gak lagi pengen tidur. Gue pengen cerita banyak hal, hem mulai dari mana ya…
Mungkin dari urusan perkuliahan dulu. Perlu diketahui dan diresapi bahwasanya laporan magang gue sudah kelar. Tinggal ditambahin abstrak, daftar isi, lampiran, dll, dan yang paling penting……lagi nunggu jadwal sidang. Deg.
Yang kedua, gue masih gak tau mau kerja di mana. Dan jujur aja, gue belum daftar ke satupun perusahaan. Setelah menolak panggilan PwC dengan congkak, gue masih belum ada ide mau kerja di mana. Bisnis sendiri kayanya masih jauh di angan-angan. Gue belum berani untuk fokus 100% di bisnis sendiri karena pengalaman bisnis gue masih sangat sangat minim (ini bukan merendah untuk meninggi), jadi gue fix akan kerja dulu. Kerja entah di mana dan di bagian apa…
Yang ketiga, gue merasa akhir-akhir ini makin subur, in terms of lemak. Gue bener-bener harus mulai olahraga dan kembali ke intuitive eating. Masalahnya, intuitive eating itu sangat berat dijalankan ketika pacaran, apalagi kalo pacarannya ketemu 3-4 kali seminggu hampir selalu full day kaya gue. Oke, ini excuse aja sebenernya.
Yang keempat, keuangan gue bener-bener sudah di ujung tanduk. Sebulan yang lalu gue bener-bener merasa kaya ketika melihat nilai saldo di atm. Kekayaan itu hanya bersifat fana, saudara-saudara, karena gue baru sadar kalo gue belum bayar utang gue ke supplier. Akibatnya, gue tiba-tiba kehilangan hampir 75% dari saldo rekening gue. Seketika gue jatuh miskin. Apalagi tempat magang gue kemaren belum bayar gaji gue bulan April. Dan pengeluaran gue rasa-rasanya tidak menunjukkan adanya tren penurunan..
Yang kelima, akhir-akhir ini gue suka nangis malem-malem untuk alasan yang tidak gue ketahui. Padahal gue gak lagi stress, beban pikiran juga ga lagi terlalu banyak. Ini nyebelin banget sih, karena gue bisa bangun esok harinya dengan mata sembab dan kepala migraen. Akhir-akhir ini gue juga ngerasa sering banget migraen tiba-tiba dan keliyengan gitu. Entah karena makan gue yang ga bener, ga pernah olahraga, HB gue turun lagi, atau karena gue kurang tidur. Anehnya lagi, nyut-nyutannya ilang setelah gue minum KFC Mocca Float. Itulah sebabnya dalam seminggu gue bisa konsumsi itu minuman sampe 3 kali…
Hi. Gue lagi di stasiun manggarai sekarang. Akhir-akhir ini kepala gue suka nyut-nyutan, suka keliyengan, dan mata jadi berat banget. Gue sampe harus minum Mocca Float nya KFC 2 hari belakangan ini supaya bisa berdiri.
Gue ngerasa akhir-akhir ini jadi kehilangan fokus. Semenjak draft skripsi udah ditandatangani dosen, gue jadi malang melintang gak tau arah. Lusa gue akan UAS Corporate Governance dengan materi sebuju buneng, dan gue baru nyicil beberapa halaman di kosan temen gue tadi. Gak tau deh, kayanya udah gak adq motivasi buat belajar itu. Gue lupa kalo gue masih punya 1 matkul lagi semester ini..
Sebentar lagi gue mau beli kado buat supir gue, ditemenin mz pacar. Semoga gak kemaleman, karena malam ini gue pengen nulis di blog yg wordpress. Gue pengen lebih banyak nulis, kayak gue yang dulu.
Was gonna watch my man’s favorite movie when i realized that i’ve watched it already. The movie started with my man’s favorite song from my man’s favorite band, and the thought of him came across my mind. How could one be so adorable? I miss him.
just got back from a date with my le bf. Nidji’s Bila Aku Jatuh Cinta is playing randomly via Spotify at this moment and i found myself smiling like a fool to my laptop screen.
God, i know it’s ridiculous to celebrate your relationship monthly, but it has been 6 months and I’m amazed at how good we actually are together. For keeping up with my shits and for being still with me in all these past months, thank you, K. Cheers for the next year ahead.
I once loved a guy who was very much into basketball. I thought it was very cool and masculine, but then he quit to join the choir and I thought to myself, are you some kind of a glee kid or something? But you know, he did very well in his choir group. He even performed in a lot of places. He was doing what he loved very much.
Now we no longer talk to each other. I guess, that’s for the best, I mean, what is it for?
There is this place in Jalan Surabaya that I like to go to sometimes. There’s a coffee shop that sells coffee that is just perfect for my stomach and doesn’t hurt my head. And after that, a bowl of porridge from Bubur Ayam Cikini.
The last time I went around taking trains and city buses was last year in August. I took pictures and even asked for a mechanic on Jalan Cikini Raya to take a polaroid picture of me.
I love my space and I’ve grown and shaped myself into a person who takes so much comfort in personal zone, which lately I have none of. I wouldn’t say that I’m losing myself, but to be honest, I kinda am. Well, this feels very weird.
I used to go home at 6 PM, do some errands, walk around Kukusan Teknik UI, or even went for a jog around my campus, produce some sweat, listened to a lot of sad songs and just let myself go.
But, lately, I don’t even know much about anything anymore. I don’t even have time to take a hot bath. It’s between my poor time management, or it’s just life that’s just taking my soul away.
Two days ago I cried for no reason while listening to Daughtry, and when my iPod shuffled itself into Ben Folds, I immediately turned it off, because I felt like I didn’t need anymore positivity. I got loads of them written on my walls. I think I’ve had enough people telling me what to do and not to do. I’ve made too much promises that I can’t keep, and I can’t even keep tracks anymore. I’m so sorry.
But, what is this all for?
Once there was a friend of mine, we were sitting on a bench in a Bus Transjakarta station in front of Bundaran Hotel Indonesia, he asked me for a list of things that make me happy, and I told him. But as we lingered with time, we forgot about all the things that we said and talked about, and moved on with our lives.
I guess, that’s what I’m doing. Moving on with my life, but at the same time, forgetting about myself.
So, if you ask me, what is this for again?
This is for me. And I swear I’m not trying to be selfish, but this is for me, too. This is not only for you, but for me too.
Don’t forget about me, okay? I’m here, too.
Jam 2.48 siang hari minggu. Guess where i am now?
Di kantor.
Oh kalian mungkin berpikir gue sangatlah sibuk mengejar deadline dengan setumpuk list hal-hal yang harus gue kerjakan.
Nyatanya? Gue ga ngapa-ngapain disini. Kerjaan gue tadi bisa gue kerjain kurang dari sejam. Dan memang sudah selesai.
Oh kalian mungkin mengira gue dibayar mahal untuk ini.
Nyatanya, gue sedang melakukan charity terhadap kantor ini. Charity terhadap satu dari 4 kantor akuntan publik terbaik di dunia. Gue gak dibayar untuk datang ke kantor hari ini. Wow sungguh waktu seorang anak magang yang sangat tak ada harganya.
Gue bingung sama orang-orang yang dengan sadar meminta waktu orang lain untuk membantu dia menyelesaikan tugasnya, tapi begitu orang tersebut sudah memberikan waktunya, kenapa justru disia-diakan?
I let this company use 7 hours of my quality time and they are wasting it like it is some kind of trash.